High Value?
Depending on what generation you belong to, this term is being “thrown around” a lot. When I first started hearing it, I admit I was perplexed. I listened to woman after woman saying they wanted a high-value man. They defined a man’s value narrowly based on his financial profile and monetary position. Describing themselves in glowing terms and with traits and qualities that made them deserve this type of man. Often, lacking honesty and humility. I also heard men describing themselves as a high-value man. Both used this term to exclude one another for superficial reasons. I have thought about this deeply over the last month. Determining that financial earnings alone can assess a person’s value as low or high, worthy or not worthy, is flawed.
I know we are missing the mark on this. Limiting who we spend time with, become lovers with, have children with, and even marry based only on net worth will surely not yield a beautiful life. And isn’t that what we want? A beautiful life? Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying we shouldn’t choose wisely, but a narrow standard based on money only does not make a good man or woman, become one. As a woman, I think a high-value man is a man with values. Deep intrinsic qualities such as compassion, honesty, discipline, humility, gratitude, and authenticity. Someone with the ability and willingness to love deeply.
Directing my focus to us as women, I want to offer this. Before we can start to set expectations about what we want in a man we must first ask ourselves, “What type of woman will I be to him? And I’m not talking about cooking and cleaning. I’m asking you, what is the essence of who you are, your energy, and your soul disposition? What are the deep intrinsic values you have and offer? Strip away the layers of roles and responsibilities you have come to define yourself by. How will you love this man? Why is this important? Until we make a promise and covenant with ourselves about who we will be to the man waiting on us to be ready, he will not show up. The man we seek with true real value will not be drawn to us.
About a year and a half ago I left my second marriage. When I left, I felt lost in the abyss and had shrunken into an emotional skeleton of a woman. I moved through the changing of my life feeling blindfolded. I spent much time searching within myself. I did so deeply with honesty and humility. Through my journey and healing, I came to find a quiet knowing about myself. I embraced my essence and what I truly had to offer. Through this journey and healing, I wrote a list of the qualities in a man that are important to me. Finances were not on my list. More profoundly important though I wrote a love letter to that man. I wrote him a heartfelt promise and explained to him how I would love him, see him, and hold him in a sacred protected space. As I wrote him, I could feel my soul and heart open. Words and promises flow into the letter. The very next day, I met the man I am with today. He embodies the values that truly matter for a beautiful life. A life I now have. A life flowing in blessings. He showed up in my life only after I released my promise into the universe. The divine timing was truly beautiful.
I share this with you as a testament to an absolute truth. The true “high value” man is a man with values, and he is listening and waiting for you. Energy draws forth energy. Authenticity draws forth authenticity. Be clear on not only what you want, but more importantly who you are, and who you will be. I came to know my true value and who I am more authentically, so may it be for you.
